Friday, October 30, 2009

10/30 Draft: BC American Gladiators

Sometimes I worry about Wesley. He gets some pretty crazy ideas (remember the "draft the Hasselbecks" one?), but I have to say, this one has seven delicious layers of awesomeness.

BC guys on the roster, up to 5 years American Gladiators.





1M) Mark Herzlich

Who didn't see this one coming? Is there any
player on the roster that comes to mind faster when I say "American Gladiators" and "BC" in the same sentence? Sure, I mean, I guess those two don't cohabitate all that often...but seriously, especially with the eye paint, Herzy could have a career as an American Gladiator. Can you imagine him with the pugil stick just lifting some poor sould ten feet off of the ground? Or maybe in the final maze where they have to crash through a wall and into a Gladiator? The medics would have to be called half of the time.

2W) Jamie Silva

By his powerful hits on the field you know that will translate into some powerful play
in POWERBALL! Defending the turf is exactly what Silva is about.. and he isn't afraid
to get dirty either, just ask this former dumpster diver! I can also see Silva excelling at the Maze, as he has a way of sniffing out his opponents, and destroying them with reckless abandon.

3M) BJ Raji

I'm taking Raji here as he would be the end-all-be-all
of the human cannonball. Sure, a big pansy like Malibu gets blown into next week, but if that insurance salesman from Mattoon, IL tries to swing and knock Raji off of the platform, can you imagine the carnage?

Poor guy would leave with a broken leg half the time, and a broken spine the other half. Here you thought Raji was immovable on the D-Line, just try him on the human cannonball!

4W) JoLonn Dunbar

Dunbar would excel at Breakthrough
and conquer. Just think back in 2007 , when he dominated Maryland, he would be a force to be reckoned with at Breakthrough and conquer, as 99.999% of the competitors would NEVER breakthrough. And with that strength he should also do well at something like Hang Tough, as he would just wear down the competition, with ease!

5M) Marty "Boomcat" Bowman

Dunbar is a nice choice, of my all-time favorite Eagles!

I'm going with Boomcat here, again with a specific event in mind. This time, I'm saying PowerBall would be the event this Eagle would dominate. Could you imagine a couple of yahoos trying to out-juke one of the more pedestrian American Gladiators, making his move...closing in on the goal....and then out of no where, a blur fires from right to left across your screen and BOOM, Marty lays the thunder on a contestant and knocks him out cold.

6W) Matt Ryan

Do you really need to ask where Matt Ryan
excels in American Gladiators?
ASSAULT of course!! With the arm and vision like Matty Heisman has, he is unstoppable in this event, and will throw constant Bulls-eyes!! You saw him with a Football, now imagine him with the tennis ball gun!!

7M) Mike "Big Mac" McLaughlin

So you're feeling pretty good about your chances.
You just outdueled Laser.....or Blaze....or Blazer in the joust. Your opponent still has a big goose egg on the board. All you need is ten points next round and you have secured your spot in the semi-finals (where the BIG money of up to $5,000 awaits you!)...and then your eye wanders to the platform of the next event.

It's Breakthrough and Conquer.

Waiting for you? Big Mac, Mike McLaughlin. He looks unhappy. You need new shorts. Television time-out.

8W) Dillon Quinn

with Muscles like this, intimidation will strike
fear in all the competitors hearts
Quinn is a specialty role, he only plays one position at the end of the Gauntlet,
after the competitors bust through the faux brick wall, he is the one on the other side
to closeline em !!!

9M) Jeremy Trueblood

Unlike other contestants in this draft, Jeremy wouldn't have to change his name. I can hear it now...."And now for for the Atlasphere challenge Johnny, you're going to have to face Wolf...and TRUUUUUUUUUEBLOOOOOOOOOOOOD....

Not only does the name fit, but good luck getting around Jeremy Trueblood once he's in the giant gerbil ball there. He's likely to force you out of the ring, out of the studio, the parking lot, and keep your ball rolling on the highway. Don't forget to write!

10W) Montel Harris

This is where his Ninja skills would best shine,
especially balance and vision.
At Joust Montel would clean house , by using his strong core, to knock all competitors off the platform stick , stick dodge, Stick, stick, dodge
.. Then he will teach the young grasshoppers (aka Competitors) how to fall forward!! onto the matt below!


BCMike drafted: Herzy, Raji, Big Mac, Boomcat, Trueblood.
Wesley drafted: Silva, Dunbar, Ryan, Quinn, Ninja

10-30 Draft: BC American Gladiators
BCMike drafted: Herzy, Raji, Big Mac, Boomcat, Trueblood.
Wesley drafted: Silva, Dunbar, Ryan, Quinn, Ninja free polls


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Dang it, Pete! We don't get enough comments as it is...and you have to go and post one and remove it?


  3. Spaz has some serious quads. No love for Blackmon?